How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize