Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
