so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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