i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize