Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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