Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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