thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize