I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
