I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
