He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
