Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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