Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
home. puking in laundry basket.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
