Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
