I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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