Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
