if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
