Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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