just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
