Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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