you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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