I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
