My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
