how can u be prego again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
