new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
