Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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