I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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