somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
