Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
