She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
