you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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