I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and she was petting her beer can
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
