Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
