She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
