last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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