i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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