Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is it penis luge time yet?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
