So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
