Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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