rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
