i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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