does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
