Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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