I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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