Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
