What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
