I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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