Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have aggressive nipples.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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