and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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