If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
