The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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