you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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