We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
