Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
