the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
