I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize