Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
