I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize