Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
