Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
